How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY